On January 23rd, 1991, the popular TV show “Seinfeld” aired on NBC. If anything, Seinfeld was a good jumping off point for Friends, so even the old style standup and bd clothing led to something good. Here is a bit from on such stand up…   Horse racing… now here’s something idiotic. I have no idea which horse is gonna win. I don’t even think the horses know they’re racing. It’s not like they’re going back to the barn going “I was first” “I was second”…you cut me off there, watch that, next time I’ll kick your ass.” I’ll tell you one thing the horses don’t know–that if they fall and break their leg, we’re gonna blow their brains out. I think they’re missing...
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On Jan 22nd, 1990, Milli Vanilli won the Grammy for Best New Artist. Soon after that glorious night, however, the startling truth emerged: Not only had the photogenic pair lip-synched their performance at the Grammys, the song’s lead vocals had always belonged to other singers! Milli Vanilli’s revoked Grammy remains the only instance of rescinding the award in Recording Academy history. Now 20 years later, it looks like they are going to make a movie about the disgraced duo. It hasn’t been said yet if it will be dubbed… Celebrate today’s historical mistake and try the “Milli Vanilli” cocktail.
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This guy gets drunk one night, and wakes up with a terrible hangover, and realizes he’s in a motel. As his eyes come into focus, he sees a very ugly girl sitting at the foot of the bed, staring at him. She looks at him says, “What are we going to name it?” He picks up the rubber he used the night before, ties it in a knot, tosses it out the window, and says, “If he gets out of this we’ll call him Houdini.” On January 21st, 1903, Harry Houdini escapes police station Halvemaansteeg in Amsterdam. You know, if I was willing to hide handcuff keys up my ass too, I could probably escape as well. So Raise your hands to celebrate this...
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The Lone Ranger and Tonto were at the bar drinking, when in walks a cowboy who yells, “Who’s white horse it that outside?” The Lone Ranger finishes off his whiskey, slams down the glass, turns around and says, “It’s my horse. Why do you want to know?” The cowboy looks at him and says, “Well, your horse is standing out there in the sun and he don’t look too good.” The Lone Ranger and Tonto run outside and they see that Silver is in bad shape, suffering from heat exhaustion. The Loan Ranger moves his horse into the shade and gets a bucket of water. He then pours some of the water over the horse and gives the rest to Silver to drink.It is...
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On January 19th 1955, “Scrabble” first appeared on the board game market. To celebrate this ever increasingly fun game (even if it is on your android), today’s Daily Drinker is an opertunity to learn a few words that may help you out in those long and frustrating Words with Friends games. Two-letter words: Yes, there are (quite) a few. Probably handy for those triple word score squares, or something: Nu: Pronounced Noo. This was, according to Egyptian creationist theory, the swirling, watery abyss from which cosmic order was formed. It is also the thirteenth letter of the Greek alphabet. Os: In entomological terms, a mouth or mouth-like opening. Would probably be used by some smartarse to make a bigger word and make your score...
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Father O’Mally has been preaching at his church in Ireland for so long, that he decides to take a vacation. He has never been married and he is curious as to what an American endures in everyday life. So, he decides to go to the States before it is too late. He hops on the plane bound for Nevada. He arrives in the Airport in Las Vegas. As he is exiting the plane, someone in the airport runs up to him and exclaims, “Elvis! Oh my God! It’s Elvis! I knew you weren’t dead Elvis! How have you been?” Father looks at her and says, “Get outta me face. Can’t you see I’m not Elvis? I don’t look a thing like Elvis.” The father...
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You Know You’ve Had Too Much Holiday Cheer When…. 1. You notice your tie sticking out of your fly. 2. Someone uses your tongue for a coaster. 3. You start kissing the portraits on the wall. 4. You see your underwear hanging from the chandelier. 5. You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off. 6. You strike a match and light your nose. 7. You take off your shoes and wade in the potato salad. 8. You hear someone say, “Call a priest!” 9. You hear a duck quacking and it’s you. 10. You complain about the small bathroom after emerging from the closet. On December 19th, 1843, Charles Dickens publishes “A Christmas Carol” in England. I have known a...
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On December 14th, 1941, the Bears and Packers played in the first NFL Division Playoff. Yes, the bears won, 33-14. Being a Packers fan, I don’t really care to hear about this. But it’s a big world out there and you Bears fans may appreciate this (Unlike their 2011 season). So rile your selves up you fan boys and try a “Bears-Tini”
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