A previously unknown volcanic island in the Caribbean Sea was discovered in the early 1800s by a French merchant ship. In honor of the recent coronation of their emperor, Napoleon I, they decided to name it Mount Napoleon. For many years, there was peace and quiet on the island. But one day, there was a strange rumbling. This persisted for many days until finally the enormous mountain at the center of the island went up in a fantastic explosion, taking most of the rest of the island with it. Fortunately, because everyone had already evacuated, there were no fatalities. Afterward, the only things left of the once-beautiful island were several tiny barren islets. To this day, these fragmented remains are called “Napoleon Blown-Apart.” On...
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“Look at ME!!” boasted the fit old man, pounding a very flat and firm stomach, having just finished 100 sit-ups before a group of young people. “Fit as a fiddle! And you want to know why? I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I don’t stay up late, and I don’t chase after loose women!!” He smiled at them, teeth white, eyes aglitter, “And tomorrow — tomorrow, I’m going to celebrate my -90th- birthday!!” “Oh, really?” drawled one of the young onlookers, “How?” On May 17th, 1982, this websites administrator (The Editor) was born. I do have to thank all of my friends and my wonderful wife for making it one of the best birthday’s ever… So Here’s to you, here’s to me. Should we...
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A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money, if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card and write “Spaghetti” on the back. He would then arrange for child support payments to begin. One day, about 9...
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Is Gilligan the Devil? Years ago, CBS had a popular little series called “Gilligan’s Island”. There is, however, a dark secret about this “comedy” you may never have realized. The island is a direct representation of Hell. Nobody on the island wants to be there, yet none are able to leave. Each one of the characters represents one of the 7 deadly sins: Ginger represents LUST – she wears skimpy outfits, is obsessed with her looks, and is a borderline nymphomaniac. Mary Ann represents ENVY – she is jealous of Ginger’s beauty. The Professor represents PRIDE – he is an annoying know-it-all. Mr. Howell represents GREED – no explanation needed. Mrs. Howell represents SLOTH – she has never lifted a finger to help on...
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On April 1st 1954, The U.S. Airforce Academy was formed. I think this is reason enough to celebrate… Who’s with me? To celebrate, I suggest making the “JP5 Jet Fuel” cocktail… Ingredients 2 dashes Liqueur, raspberry (Chambord) 1/2 oz. Curacao, blue 2 oz. Tequila, anejo 1/2 oz. Triple Sec 2 oz. Vodka 2 dashes Grenadine Mixing Instructions Stir ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice. Strain into chilled martini glass.
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It was Chinese New Year. Bill and Jackson had just staggered back home from a hard night’s drinking when they noticed that a menu from the new restaurant next door had come through the letter box. On a whim they decided to celebrate the Chinese New Year with a take-away. Jackson, was just off out of the door to fetch their meal when Bill turned to him and said, ‘Please get me 20 number 6 while you’re at the take-away. Jackson returned with their chicken Chou Mein, sweet and sour pork and 20 portions of egg fried rice. Bill said, ‘Where’s me fags’. Jackson said, ‘What cigarettes, you asked for 20 number 6 and that’s what you’ve got, enough egg fried rice to feed...
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On January 23rd, 1991, the popular TV show “Seinfeld” aired on NBC. If anything, Seinfeld was a good jumping off point for Friends, so even the old style standup and bd clothing led to something good. Here is a bit from on such stand up…   Horse racing… now here’s something idiotic. I have no idea which horse is gonna win. I don’t even think the horses know they’re racing. It’s not like they’re going back to the barn going “I was first” “I was second”…you cut me off there, watch that, next time I’ll kick your ass.” I’ll tell you one thing the horses don’t know–that if they fall and break their leg, we’re gonna blow their brains out. I think they’re missing...
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On Jan 22nd, 1990, Milli Vanilli won the Grammy for Best New Artist. Soon after that glorious night, however, the startling truth emerged: Not only had the photogenic pair lip-synched their performance at the Grammys, the song’s lead vocals had always belonged to other singers! Milli Vanilli’s revoked Grammy remains the only instance of rescinding the award in Recording Academy history. Now 20 years later, it looks like they are going to make a movie about the disgraced duo. It hasn’t been said yet if it will be dubbed… Celebrate today’s historical mistake and try the “Milli Vanilli” cocktail.
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