Elvis Presley’s daily diet would fuel the normal man for a month. THE ELVIS DIET (“ELVIS THE PELVIS” KING OF ROCK & ROLL): Breakfast (5 pm) – 5,000 calories Six large eggs cooked in butter with extra salt, 1 lb of bacon, half a pound of sausages, 12 buttermilk biscuits. Dinner (10 pm) – umpteen calories (I can’t count that high). Two “Fool’s Gold” sandwiches [a jar of peanut butter, a jar of strawberry jam, one pound of crisp-fried bacon on a baguette x2. Supper (4 am) - 5,000 calories Five double-hamburgers and deep-fried peanut butter, mashed banana sandwiches. On December 11th, 1961, Elvis Presley's "Blue Hawaii" album hit #1 and continued at #1 for 20 weeks. When I found this fact, it was...
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Three men met at a party, and it wasn’t long until the conversation got around to their line of work and what kind of cars they drove. “I’m a veterinarian,” said the first fellow. “So, naturally, I drive a white ‘Vet.” As they smiled and nodded, the second man said, “I’m an astronaut and I drive a Saturn.” Now the third guy was suddenly quiet until he was egged on by the other two. “Well,” he finally said, “I’m a proctologist… and I have a brown Probe.” On December 10th, 1974, the Helios 1 space probe was launched. This was an interesting research effort as I knew nothing about the Helios class space probes. Here’s a fun fact, the probes, tho built and launched...
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On December 9th 1854, Lord Tennyson’s poem “Charge of the Light Brigade” was published. I know not so many people out there are poetry lover’s like my self, but I wanted to celebrate Tennyson’s works, so I am going to share a passage from this poem. When can their glory fade? O the wild charge they made! All the world wondered. Honor the charge they made, Honor the Light Brigade, Noble six hundred. ~Poetry by Alfred Tennyson Taken from Charge of the Light Brigade For those of you not that into old school poetry, fear not, for I have collected some of the best alcohol poetry I could find on the net. So check out my “Alcoholic Poetry” article. To celebrate Tennyson’s wonderful works...
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Rumors of Flight Crew humor has been spread across the net, below are some examples… From a Southwest Airlines employee…. “Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more.”...
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There is a this blond and she wants to buy a microwave. So she goes in and asks the sales clerk, “How much for that microwave?” The salesclerk replies, “We don’t sell Microwaves to blonds.” So the next day she dyes her hair red, and goes in and asks the same question. The sales clerk answers, “we don’t sell microwaves to blonds.” So the next day she dyes her hair brunette and goes and asks the same question. The salesclerk replies the same way. The blond asks how he knows she is a blond. The clerk says, “That isn’t a microwave it’s a TV.” On December 7th, 1945, the Microwave Oven was patented by Percy Spencer when an experiment he was working with using...
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A panda bear walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. The waiter brings him the sandwich. The panda bear eats it, pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter, and gets up and starts to walk out. The bartender yells for him to stop. The panda bear asks, “What do you want?” The bartender replies, “First you come in here, order food, kill my waiter, then try to go without paying for your food.” The panda bear turns around and says, “Hey! I’m a Panda. Look it up!” The bartender goes into the back room and looks up panda bear in the encyclopedia, which read: “Panda: a bear-like marsupial originating in Asian regions. Known largely for it’s stark black and white coloring. Eats shoots...
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There were a couple of old gals in the local nursing home who were getting a little bored with the lack of excitement in their surroundings. They decided to liven things up and took their clothes off and walked through the local male gathering area in the buff. One of the men poked the other one and asked if he had seen what just went by. The other replied yep he had seen it and whatever it was it sure did need ironing On December 5th, 1929, the first US nudist organization was formed. The American League for Physical Culture in NYC, was created by Kurt Barthel and is called the father of the modern United States nudist movement. Hey I can think of...
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A man was telling his co-worker one day that the company was transferring him to Chicago. He explained that he was going to quit before he had to move there. When asked why, he replied that he was just too afraid of all the crime even though he would be passing up a big salary increase and greater benefits. His co-worker said to reconsider and that Chicago was a magnificent city, with world class museums, loaded with a great history, sites, close to Canada, good public transportation, etc. Then he said: “Why I myself worked in Chicago for almost 10 years and in all that time I never ever had a problem with crime while I was working.” The first asked, “What did you...
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